my idea of a perfect gf

okay lah, I am very shallow. Butttt, whatever lah hur.

race, that mean race car ah?

I absolutely love Tan Hong Ming's facial expression at 1.12, and the subsequent actions that followed after he realizes that his crush is not such a one-sided affair anymore. As for the second video, I'm sure everyone was just as tickled when the Chinese boy had doubts about the definition of the word 'race'.

These clips were shown to us during a lecture last week and judging from the responses of the people in the lecture theatre, it was pretty much obvious that nearly everyone shared the same views about these clips. Yes, they're funny, cute, sweet, innocent, etc... but there's really more to these surface niceties. Other than the element of some light-hearted humour, here's what I took away from them (and of course, the lecture itself):

Kids are (so) much more open-minded than we think they are and we adults are the ones who's been putting edivisive ideas into their minds.

Strictly speaking, it's not quite accurate to say they're "colour-blind" (like what was suggested in the above two videos); especially since outward/physical appearances and imagery are things that catch their attention most easily at their age. What sets them apart from us adults is; unlike us who (typically like to) categorize/discriminate against people according to stereotypes based on skin colours, the kids don't carry out this sort of biased segregations. This non-execution is largely due to the fact that they are very much unaware of the idea of racial/ethnic (I'm using these 2 terms very loosely here) discrimination; and this 'ignorance' (of sorts) is exactly what we need to learn from these very young children. A child wouldn't mind playing with other children of ethnic groups different from hers; no prizes for guessing right who are the ones responsible for planting stereotypical views of different cultures in her mind. When we do things like that, we are not only severely limiting her view of the world, but we are also forming inaccurate and biased representations of the different cultures in her very un-corrupt and malleable mind -- reinforcements of these representations (by majority of the people who surround her) manifest to become ideas of loathing that will follow her throughout her life. How scary is that? What we are capable of doing...

sigh

Dad said some of the most insensitive things over dinner earlier on and I teared a little. Mumsy's still angry with him for saying what he did, and me, I'm sickened that he's capable of such hurtful and mindless words; that's the reason I got so emotionally charged, not because I was the target of his words (whom I wasn't).

I don't know if I'm ever going to be able to change his stubborn ways of thinking, but it seems like it's going to take a damned lot of work and I don't know if I'm ever going to be up for that, he's not exactly the nicest person to talk to of all the people I know.

laughing too soon

Today, while driving back home, I laughed at the ridiculous 'election' that's going to take place soon in N. Korea and asked Mumsy "Where got country's president like that pass down to the son these days one...". She didn't take long to remind me that that's (almost) exactly what's happening right here. Now.

I just realized how camouflaging individuals in a group changes the way people looks at things.

ps. I like how my Diversity tutorials are making me read and realize things that I've more often than not overlooked in the past; for example, we're not as liberal a place as we would like to think we are and I'm having my first thoughts about privatizing this little space. 

same smile, but different

In the past where my self-esteem used to be the size of a fifty-cent coin, and all I'd wanted was to be accepted by my friends and (now ex) boyfriends, my opinions were always based on what others thought; I would smile and nod in silent agreement with whatever opinions they had about issues that we discussed. It could be about anything; people, places and actions... if my friends said the food at a particular canteen sucks (I hate using this word now and I think people should too once they're over 21), I'll avoid the said canteen as much possible, even though I haven't tried any of the food at that canteen, or even if I've given it a try and thought the food wasn't as bad as they'd made it out to be. I never gave much thought about voicing out whatever opposing views I held, because 1) I didn't want to offend by going against people, 2) I was too lazy to question, and 3) I didn't want to stick out like a sore thumb.

Then, in the not too distant past, I started to become more (so much more) opinionated compared to the past; the one described in the above paragraph. Unlike the more distant past where my friends' views were used by me as a benchmark, I started to value my personal views/opinions about things and would give my take on just about everything. I wasn't as afraid of offending, just the exact opposite; I would go all out just to make sure I get my point across, state countless reasons to validate my point. I was intent on making my friends look at things from my point of view (that must have annoyed the hell out of them), until someone said to me one day: "Different people just have different expectations and beliefs in life, it's not possible to make all of them look your way all the time."

It bugged me for a little while, I just couldn't accept people being so narrow-minded, constantly uptight or emotionally-charged in their thinking and I'd wished that they'd be more reasonable and logical sometimes. Then I realized, I was becoming just like one of these people whom I've just described; yeah right, you are so open-minded but you just can't accept diversity. Nowadays, when I have some slightly opposing views from the others, I shut up and keep them to myself unless it's absolutely necessary to voice them out (quite often still, but much better than before lah; cut me some slack please). It's just so tiring to constantly be engaged in debates (a.k.a. sometimes-mindless-squabbles) with friends over dinner, when I've had a long hard day. I can't be bothered to start or win arguments any more. And besides, sometimes it's just quite amusing to see certain people defend themselves so self-righteously, with their narrow-mindedness/up tightness/emotionally-charged thinking displayed proudly all at once - I'm sure some of you were pretty amused by me at some point in time.

This doesn't make me non-receptive to what my friends say; I still smile mostly at what most people like to say, but these days, I just don't nod my head as vigorously or as much as before.

Where has all the time gone?

Dear self,

Do not agree to any to go for any Thai disco/Timbre outings this week. You need all the time in the world to catch up on your readings.

ps. Yes, even if it means sacrificing your practically non-existent life.

For the best of your academic interests,
Me

Saturday night fever

Met up with some of the ktowy peeps on Saturday night and... here are some of the more memorable pictures of the night:

Pasta Waraku - my virgin squid-ink pasta experience at Pasta Waraku. not a pretty sight :x

Thai Disco (Ratchada): 

rl's always getting drunk when she comes drinking with us

haha looking slightly less drunk

michael what are you looking at hur hur hur.

This night, we discussed what would be a good age to marry. I said 30 and everyone replied "so old?!" almost in unison. Guess I'll just have to be an old bride when the time comes...