People like to ask for 'honest feedback' so often that I can't help but wonder if they are prepared to handle the cruel and disheartening truth (most of the time), me included. Some people just enjoy receiving positive affirmation from the rest on their work/themselves (don't deny), while others want 'truthful opinions' so that they can make adjustments/enhancements to their work/themselves. In most polite 'face-saving societies' or used by some as a strategy to avoid bruising a friend's self-confidence, the cold, hard 'truth' is sometimes sugar-coated with a layer of social niceties and something truly unpleasant can end up sounding acceptable or even great.

I think that's the way Singapore functions, or among my friends and acquaintances at least. We have become so used to and dependent on the sugar-coated feedback that we are no longer able to accept constructive criticisms that don't sound half as lovely as all that fructose-candy goodness; instead, we see critics as rude, fault-finding individuals who just love directly challenging us (yeah right, why are they even bothered in the first place) and then we start getting all defensive and worked up. Sometimes, things gets so bad that people don't even look at things in a clear-headed and objective manner anymore, not realizing that they sound like complete idiots who have no clue about what they are defending anymore. I do this pretty often admittedly; even though I like to constantly remind myself that 忠言逆耳. It doesn't matter if your friends are trying to protect you, or be nice or encouraging by avoiding negative truths, because we learn to settle for something lesser in the end by leaving them as they are even though you know it can turn out much better.

If things happen according to the way I want them to, then I'd be probably be producing the most awesome of assignments/proposals/lesson plans, and I will be the perfect person that I've always dreamt of being naturally effortlessly. There will be no need for feedback, because things are just going to unfold in the ways they are supposed to be, and nothing will go wrong because Murphy's Law doesn't exist. But no matter how hard we desire, we all know things are never like this in real life, that's why there's always stories of successes and failures.

When I think aloud to myself and my friends hear my thoughts (that sometimes do not necessitate replies), they will be super nice about it.

Example:
Me: Why am I so fat? :(
Friend A: You are not fat dearie! I am fatter than you lah, look... (totally not true okay)

I'm never ever going to lose weight if they keep telling me that because the truth is, I am fat because I am so depressingly unmotivated in exercising (and you should really look at all the crap *don't take it literally tyvm* I eat) and nobody tells me that instead, but I cannot help and be thankful that my friends usually keep the nasty comments to themselves, because I might just die from embarrassment if they replied like that:

"Are you sure you really want to know why you are so fat? I'm going to say it even though you don't want to know. Look at all that crap you eat without even exercising. You so deserve to be fat lah."

I will confirm burst into tears. 

It doesn't just apply to my physical appearance, but the most funny thing about all this? It's okay if I am the one saying it instead; I probably won't feel half as depressed if I were the one to saying it to myself, not that it'll actually work (tested but not yet proven, I REALLY WANT TO LOSE WEIGHT).

I'm lazy to raise more examples or elaborate any further. My point of writing these blocks of text? I definitely want to do better at the things I do and not be constantly stuck in a rut just because people are trying to be polite. And people who have been awfully nice to me, I really appreciate your positive words of encouragement so don't stop being awfully nice to me! Don't know bout you but I can see myself saying a whole lot more of nasty (but truthful) stuff to myself in the near future, good to hear the awful truths from myself first before hearing it from somebody else. Or even better, work on the awful things you tell yourself about you before people have anything bad to say.

So, nasty-sounding but honest thing that I want to tell myself today: Stop procrastinating and saying you don't have time to do your essays when you have all the time in the world to Facebook-stalk people, visit www.cuteoverload.com, www.tastefullyoffensive.com and www.lamebook.com. You will totally deserve your shitty grade for Multicultural Research Paper if you don't pull your damned act together. Like now. 

By the way, it's totally alright if I'm the one saying it to myself but it's not if you are the one telling me that.

Okay kidding. You can continue telling me what a lazy ass I am, but be gentle k.