What I (do not) take seriously

Over time and experiences, I guess I've more or less come to decide on what are the things in life (mine, that is) that ought to be taken more seriously than others. 

To first illustrate, I don't take some of the things that some people (with dicks -oops- especially) say too seriously these days because I learnt that is a good way to avoid disappointment or heartbreaks. Adding on to that, I don't think I take promises made by the same flippant people too seriously too. 

Lying used to be considered as one of the deadliest boo-hoos on my great list of boo-hoos, but now, I don't think I'd even get angry when I find out that I had been lied to; I find it amusing instead. Today, when I thought about the stories that someone had cooked up to cover up for something that totally needn't be a lie, I only wondered why did that person bother to think up such wonderful stories when it didn't really matter if he was telling the truth or not. 

*Hm. I think I might have just gotten the answer to my own question: it doesn't matter because I'm not being taken too seriously as well. Ah well.

People who can't take me seriously. Sorry, I believe in reciprocal relationships.

People who cannot be serious when they need to be. Have you tried working with one of them? If not, I hope you'll never have to.

People who are way too serious. They need to learn to take a joke and smile/laugh more.

Commited romantic relationships. Sure, they're nice, and they make you feel all fuzzy inside from time to time but that all that unhealthy dependance and remember the first point I made? I'll pass for now.

I don't expect my list to be very similar to everyone else's, but I think it's been useful for me so far. Helps me maintain a 拿得起, 放得下 attitude in life towards most things and I guess that's why I always look so cheerful?

#23 The last person I kissed

le Puppy.

Weird people I've met in HK (so far)

Tomorrow will be exactly 3 months since I left Singapore for Hong Kong. In the past month alone, I've had three funny encounters with foreigners who are also currently staying in HK.

I talked about the first guy here. Doesn't sound too funny, right? Maybe that's because I forgot to mention he is a 40-something year old man doing business in mainland China (supposedly). 40-something year old man hitting on a 20-something year old girl; creepy much?

Met the second strange person some few weeks back when I visited Stanley Beach, or rather, when I was heading back to campus from Stanley Beach. After boarding the bus at the terminus, this lady with cropped hair decided to sit right next to me, despite the fact that there were so many other vacant seats around me (really is a lot okay). Halfway through the bus journey, she started talking to me; I learnt that she's from the Philippines, and that she's here in HK on holiday for 5 days (3rd or 4th day when we met supposedly) and that she's already been to Disneyland and Ocean Park and yadah yadah yadah, also been to London, and some other parts of Europe that I can't remember. Before she got off, she asked me for my number and said that maybe we could meet up for a drink or something before she leaves. Since she looked relatively harmless (as compared to the 40-odd year old man) and appeared to be quite friendly, I agreed and punched my number into her mobile. She messaged me like a few days later (definitely beyond her 5-day vacation) so I was really puzzled that she hasn't gone back to the Philippines.

Call me a skeptic or [insert whatever awful name you have for me], but I find it extremely hard to believe that people can extend their vacation on a whim just like that for 6 months lor. And what's more, I remember her telling me that "Hong Kong is a really small place with not too much to see" (in verbatim) so... what's up with wanting to extend her stay here for another half a year? Contradicting much?

She's probably just feeling very lonely here, but me being the usual heartless me, I didn't reply after the first message.

Met the last guy two Sundays ago when I decided to catch a movie on my own at Festival Walk. While walking to the cinema box office, someone tapped me on my right shoulder and started talking to me. He asked me in Cantonese what were some of the nice places in HK for partying/nights out, etc and I replied in broken Cantonese that I'm not local so I don't really know but the Wan Chai area should be a safe enough bet. We switched to English (after he probably can't stand my broken Cantonese any longer hurhur) and in our very short conversation, I learnt that his name is Deep/Dip (whatever, it sounded like that), he's originally from Guangzhou, doing his degree on traditional Chinese medicine here in HK currently and that he would like to have my number too, so that he could ask me out for drinks. I have a feeling that he was probably doing a dare of sorts with his friends so nah, don't think too much about it okay :)

That's it for my strange encounters with foreigners in HK; haven't met too much strange locals yet as of now, guess they're all too busy to notice a geeky Singaporean girl like me.

quickie!

Only typing this because I am afraid that I will forget about the wonderful things that happened to me in the past weekend (in spite of me spoiling my lappy).

Audrey (sorry not talking about you, Qiqi) invited us (Doris, Yvonne and me!) to a field trip for one of her environment-related modules to Tai O, 大澳 (a.k.a. Venice of Hong Kong) on Friday and we spotted a few white dolphins along the way! We had a great afternoon on the island too and it was simply awesome much.

Last tango lesson on Saturday at Sheung Wan; I can barely remember the moves that we've learnt in all four lessons, but still, I enjoyed learning the dance tremendously. And I am so glad that Audrey (not you again Qiqi, sorry) and Doris decided to join me in signing up about a month back. Hopefully, we'll be able to go for one or two more practicas again before Doris leaves HK.

Tango afternoon was followed by salsa night; it's been so long since we last danced salsa so it was great. I will always be grateful that Mumsy sent my dancing heels over despite grumbling about how troublesome I am. Hehe. Didn't stay too long so I only managed to get asked for 5 dances so I seriously hope we'll be able to visit the place again soon :)

Did the Peak trail with a friend after salsa and it was also great! I think I have a much clearer idea about the types of houses that the rich in Hong Kong live in now, the inconveniences and trade-offs of living at a such prestigious height with a gorgeous night view... My friend gave me a very detailed summary of the important buildings that can be seen from the peak (now I can only hope I remember them) and geographical information about HK Island and Kowloon from as far as our eyes could reach (and the fog allowed).

Been to my first rowing competition (as a spectator) on Sunday and it was a real eye-opener for me. I salute all the rowers who braved the cold winds and waters to compete; I will never even think about taking my clothes off, much less getting into the water when it's 14 degrees celcius cold. Brrr!

Watched Ian Wright on television Sunday night and chuckled an hour away; he was filming in India and was learning the ropes to 'enter Bollywood'.

And finally, a laptop replacement from a friend. I can stay within the warmth and comfort of my room now instead of having to go through the coldness in the hall's computer lab! Can't express enough gratitude to my friend!

So yes, all in all, very great weekend indeed!

KH's back from Beijing; that is great news too. I hope he recovers quickly and then we can go for some nice food together again soon!

#7 My ex-boyfriend(s)

Before I start rambling about how my ex-boyfriends have 'mistreated' me in the past and what I remember about our past relationships, please note that whatever I'm saying now only represents one side of the story - it is not the whole truth, but a rather biased account of things.

One cannot forget the type of bitter or sad feelings that s/he feels post break-ups. And not too long after the break-ups, almost instinctively, you will ponder upon the stupidest of thoughts like, "Will s/he change his/her mind about breaking up?" or "I wonder if s/he has a new boy/girlfriend now..." or "Does he still think of me?" or "I wonder what his/her new boy/girlfriend is like" [you're likely to have been the one who was ditched if you've had these thoughts] or "Is s/he managing well without me?" [you probably ditched your partner if you're thinking this] and the list goes on (you probably have a better list than me). I'm guilty of all the stupid thoughts that I've mentioned above, and more. 

Exes are called exes obviously because things went wrong somewhere or people simply changed somewhere along the way. I'm not going to even try pushing the blame onto my ex-boyfriends here because it always takes two hands to clap. And if anyone was to be blamed for my past break-ups, then I would gladly accept all the blame because there's no excuse at all for me for being childish, and worse, stupid together all at the same time a few years ago.

Barney - Nothing else to say about him because I've said all that I want to say about him here. I'm very glad we don't have anything else to do with each another anymore thankyouverymuch.

DJ - We met on a sailing expedition when I was in the first year of poly; I was a student participant and he was working as the first mate of the schooner that we set sail on. We started off with him being like a 'big brother', someone whom I looked up to for having the loftiest of ambitions (for good causes, to his defense), and for providing me guidance or encouragment in my studies sometimes when I needed it. I never expected that we would get together someday, because all along, I thought he had a thing for my other friend from the expedition and that he was only talking to me so often because he wanted to find out more about her; I maintained a strictly platonic relationship with him until the day we got together. I didn't get together with him because I really liked him (not more than a brother anyway); honestly speaking, it was more like 1) I didn't know how to reject someone, and 2) I (was totally deluded) and felt a false sense of 'flattery' in knowing that someone 6 years older would actually fall for a stupid 17-year old me.

Due to our great age gap (the same 6-year difference appears much greater when you're 17 compared to when you're 23, doesn't it?), I probably tried too hard to come across as much more mature than I actually was, in terms of mannerisms, that is. I shall spare you the intimate/mushy/gross/embarrassing details of our very brief relationship (that lasted all of a year), but I think he exerted a pretty positive influence over me - some examples in the following. During our time together and even after, I learnt to think of and for others rather than just myself more, at least much more than I used to, because he was always going on about one big cause or another out there. I stopped walking like a slob; never did drag my feet again whenever I could help it after being 'told off' by him once. Astronomically, I learnt to identify the Orion's belt, and that the brightest object in the night sky is Venus. Most importantly, I used to be one hell of a kan cheong spider whenever things went wrong, be it at school, with friends or at home, but I stopped panicking so crazily eventually due to his influence. He always seemed so surefooted and calm, in spite of whatever rubbish life threw in his way. I remember hearing him say "When you're already in knee-deep shit, struggling will only get you deeper into it"; that really stuck with me for a long time - 5 years have since passed but I still remember it today.

We spent many happy evenings with his very friendly folks in their Bukit Batok condo, had a few nice afternoons making boat trips where he tried to (hopelessly) teach me more about the basics of boating but I guess there's always an end to good things in life. We didn't have too much drama throughout the course of our relationship; a few unhappy arguments (mostly initiated by me because I was childish and possessive lah) snowballed into something much bigger and eventually, he probably realized that he's just not that into me so I wrote him a letter to bid him goodbye, dropped off everything that he's once given me back at his place and had no more to do with one another after that afternoon.

I heard he's happily married now, and that truly made me scoff when I first heard about it because I was thinking "How is he going to help the poor children in Africa now that he has a wife? All the things guys say to impress girls... seriously."

Doug - I met Doug on the same sailing expedition that I met DJ. He was there for me during the lowest points in my life with DJ; never failing to offer me his shoulders for a good, hard cry whenever I needed it, and so, it probably wasn't too unexpected when we finally got together one month after my break-up with DJ. Unlike with the previous boyfriend where I felt like I was acting way beyond my age and pretending to be something I'm not whenever we were together, I was pretty much in my own skin during my time with Doug. Since we were both going to school at Temasek Polytechnic at that time, we hung out pretty often and too much of something's never good, as you alreaady know.

But anyway, there was a lot that we had in common; tastes in food (especially), hobbies, etc - so much in fact that people often commented that we looked like brother and sister instead of a couple, but still a great couple, nonetheless. My favourite memories with Doug revolve mainly around food and travel-related adventures; we were often on the hunt for some 'famous' local or international delicacies despite our very tight budgets, and when we finally tracked them down, we would go on to wax lyrical about how heavenly they tasted (which they really did lah). We ate so much that both of us put on terrible amounts of kilos; it was really quite bad, but we continued to eat, and eat, and eat.

I first travelled overseas without my parents with Doug too. We slogged really hard to make our travel plans possible; looking back, I think I was quite amazing for being able to handle 2 part-time jobs, school work, family, friends and a boyfriend all at a go and not failing my assessments. Our very first destination was none other than... Bangkok! I still remember him saying that was the first plane ride of his life while we were still at the airport, our very first delicious pork burgers from McDonalds', the crazy taxi rides, and late-night beers with a live band playing in the background. After Bangkok, we visited Phuket for our little 'graduation trip' and had another grand time there; we had shrimp burgers this time round, some awesome rounds of snorkelling at the Phi Phi islands, amazing carbonara from a little Italian restaurant on Phi Phi, amazing mango shakes, scooter adventure to the oceanarium and too many more to be listed in this short entry.

They were amazing, and these memories were probably what first got me so enthusiastic about travelling.

Anyway, I got too dependent on having him in my life - to unhealthy levels where I wasn't giving him enough space and planned my life around him, I guess. I was such a possessive person (it didn't help that he seemed to be so popular with girls) when it boiled down to matters about him; I got jealous easily but would maintain that "everything's fine" and I think that pissed him off majorly each time. He liked to hit the clubs with his friends and I hated it whenever he refused to bring me along; you can guarantee that arguments will ensue almost immediately whenever that happens. It's really silly, looking back now, how our arguments will always be the same main ideas.

We parted ways few months after I entered university, about two weeks after he entered national service. There was no big fight (boring, right), instead, my feelings for him just sort of 'died down' and I suddenly felt like there was so much that I wanted to do in life but would be easier if I were alone rather than part of a couple. I had forgotten what it feels like to be single after such a long time and I realized I actually missed that feeling, so, on the night when he had his first book-out from camp and took us out for a nice two-year anniversary celebration dinner, I broke his heart.

I will always feel guilty about it, for my selfishness and for leaving him on his own when he most needed support from his loved ones (two weeks into bmt leh) and I've even thought about whether or not I should have waited two years (after he's finally done with NS) to initiate the break up - of course, friends have told me not to be silly and that I wouldn't be considered as being truthful or honest in our relationship if I were to do that.

We keep in occasional contact these days; off and online, and sometimes we meet for drinks or meals too. But of course, everything's strictly platonic now. I think Doug's a really forgiving person, because I will never want to keep in contact with someone who broke my heart so hard, but he does, and he still wouldn't mind hearing me rant about life even though we're no longer a couple now. I feel really fortunate to have him as a friend now, and I hope he feels the same way too.



Anyhow, it's been a super long entry about bits and pieces of my past. Before you leave the page, please remember once again that everything you have read today is solely from my point of view and may not be representative of the entire truth ;) I am indeed very thankful and glad to have had the opportunities to be loved at least once by the people I've just talked about (with the exception of my bitter first love, that is); we may not have the fortunes of sharing great happy endings but nonetheless, I am still thankful for the invaluable lessons in life that they have given to me, whether they meant them or not. The most important thing that I learnt from my previous relationships is to live my life for myself - I am happy because I am happy (and not because my boyfriend is happy), and I should think and make decisions based on what I want or like, and not because my boyfriend (or anybody else for that matter) thinks it's good/bad. Other than that, I also learnt to love myself more, tell myself that it's okay to be selfish in life sometimes as long as you don't harm anyone in doing so, understand that some negative feelings in people can be avoided by not saying or doing mean things to them, appreciate my loved ones much more. I would like to think that I will make a much better girlfriend now than what I once was, but that's really hard to say, since I don't have one to confirm that now, maybe my next boyfriend might be able to confirm that. :p


From the way I'm made things out to be, it sure sounds like I am already a much better person (if not girlfriend) compared to the past, doesn't it? What do you think?

ps. and just to clarify, I'm single and happy now!

before you sleep tonight..

I saw this on my tumblr, and I thought it's something nice to share...

#1, 2, 5, 6, 7 - Ah Hong, Dad, Yifeng, and a loving bunch of you.

 #3 - I can't imagine someone would hate me (not anymore anyway).

#4 - I know it's true the other way round.

#8 - Aren't we all?

#9 - Hmm really? True the other way round; there's so much love that I want to give to people who need it (e.g. even if it's simply telling people who are stuck in the worst of circumstances that everything's going to be okay).

#10 - Hopefully... I don't know what's my biggest mistake so far.

#11 - Never thought of it that way; no one owes me anything but I owe the world everything that I have.

#12 - Hopefully! :)

#13 - Trying to...

#14 - Trying to, but sometimes I just cannot bear to crush their egos/burst their bubble/see them upset.

#15 - Ok!

W

Wariness - I'm scared of the way some things are happening.
Sometimes, you have a rough idea of how you want things to turn out in your mind and you try to stick by that plan as much as you can. When things turn out slightly better than expected, you don't embrace it as much as you actually should, for fear that something bad is bound to happen if you steer off-course, or happen to move just slightly away from your original plans. I would love to enjoy the fringe benefits that come along with my master plan, but by doing so, I'm also worried that I will fall into the traps set by myself (when I accept these benefits) and lose sight of or forget what my overall plan is about.

Weariness - I'm tired of worrying so much
What have I got to lose anyway?

boyfriend.

Last night, I think a very strange guy tried to pick me up on the train back to campus. He asked for my name, if I'm a student, and my nationality, and went on to tell me about himself (and nope, I didn't even ask him to do that) yadah yadah. And after I told him I'm doing a major in education, he asked if we could 'hang out' so that I can tell him more about the education system here. I replied that I'm not too sure since I'm not local and he was like... "No no, not just about education.. We can talk about other things too, maybe have a nice dinner or something". Awkward silence. I was really not interested so I pretended that I didn't hear him and went back to read my notes. But then he asked if he could have my number so, I panicked for awhile and finally blurted "No, I think my boyfriend won't be too happy about it". 

I was so thankful when I finally arrived at the station I was supposed to get off at.

王大仙 - Wong Tai Sin Temple

I asked to tag along with Zhenghan and Sarala and their new buddy, Kai Tak one Sunday in January so these photos were probably taken like, more than a month ago. Anyway, we visited 王大仙, the Wong Tai Sin Temple that is pretty well-known for answering devotees' prayers or requests.

It's not difficult to get here, there's actually a MTR station named after the temple, and that is where you'll need to get off if you're visiting this temple. Exit signs will direct you to the direction of the temple; and you'll have to go up a rather large overhead bridge to get to the other side of the road.

#1 On the overhead bridge

#2 The temple from a distance

Since it was the pre Chinese New Year period, the temple was thronged with large crowds of visitors and red, garish festive decorations were put up all around.

#3

#4 An occasional rare quiet moment

#5 Shops selling CNY souvenirs and what-nots along the perimeter of the temple

#6 how the inside of one of these shops looks like

#7

#8 lazing floating turtle in one of the temple ponds

#9 what up

#10 no idea what the sign says, really

#11 I like this picture a lot! Even though the composition's really messy :x 

#12

#13 Blooming lotuses

#14 Wall of 9 dragons, 九龍墻

#15 Looks very misleading, but I really don't think they were getting it on, even though I don't know how turtles do it

#16 a fierce-looking deity.

#17 red adornment to add to the 'CNY feel'

#18

#19 Sandalwood incense

#20 Pick-up sticks (literally; pardon my lousy pun)

#21 Yue Lao 月老 a.k.a. the matchmaker deity; maybe the man was asking the deity when will his right match come along.

#22

#23 Peoplesss

#24 Another area of the temple; quite big, as you might be able to tell by now

#25 撞星! Man in the suit is a HK veteran actor, but I have no clue what's he called.

#26 Red was the perfectly normal colour to be put up.

Anyhow, next to the temple itself is another building with lots of fortune-telling/palm-reading stalls in it. With a question/prayer in your mind (repeat if you have many prayers/questions but don't be greedy lah), kneel before the statues, shake the cylinder case containing the 100 divination lots to 求籤, write down the number of the lot that dropped out from your cylinder case on a little slip of paper, and exchange it for a slip of paper at one of the stalls that depicts the good/bad aspects of the lot that you've chosen - not too sure about the exact price, but it definitely costs less than HK$20. The person manning the stall will probably get you to have your fortune told or palm read as well, but you can always reject them politely.

#27 A row of fortune-telling stalls; ALL OF THEM. Some of stalls have pictures of the stall-owners with famous people like celebrities; and that's probably how they manage to attract people to come to their stalls.

#28

KH told me that people like to 求姻緣 at Wong Tai Sin because it's 特別靈. I asked about how things will be in general (health, family, school, etc) for the coming new year, and the lady whom I got my divination lot (no. 94!) explanation from said something like, "oh, it'll be an average year for you... probably will meet with some difficulties along the way, but stay true to yourself to avoid trouble, blah". Not such a good lot, but ahhhhh, I'll just have to make the best out of what I have!

That's it for my little trip to Wong Tai Sin temple!

#29 lots of love from me!