Breaking away.

I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly
I'll do what it takes till I touch the sky
And I'll make a wish, take a chance
Make a change, and breakaway
Out of the darkness and into the sun
But I won't forget all the ones that I loved
I'll take a risk, Take a chance
Make a change, and breakaway

picture from set here

I'm nowhere near a Kelly Clarkson fan, and I wouldn't even have taken such a close look at the lyrics if I'd not been learning the guitar chords for the song together with G. But the more I play, the more I realize how much the song's been reminding me that I've been trying to break away for as long as I can remember. I've tried to break away from my parents by insisting that I should stay in hall, away from the usual mindsets that most other Singapore citizen would have, and away from some really nasty memories that'd been making me hold back not too long ago. Can't say I'm sure of what so much of my breakaways are for; maybe I just need to be alone sometimes, maybe I just don't want to conform to the possibility of a mundane future just like what the random person on the street is experiencing, or maybe I just cannot stand myself remembering really unpleasant events that had to happen to me.

I don't understand why not conforming is considered to be rebellious and it's got me into trouble with my parents countless times, and some social situations I became involved with. People probably disagree with my viewpoints most of the time, but they're just too nice to spell it out clearly to me.

ps. I'm becoming more of a cynic; post-dinner, someone gave me a compliment. I just couldn't accept it, shrugged it off and behaved most awkwardly afterward. Cynic... or maybe just a social retard.