When will I ever be good enough?

Sometime back, I decided to paste some of my old photos up onto my bedroom wall. Here are some of me in my younger days. To be honest, I don't remember much of what happened in my life before 5. 

my relatives called me Ah Fat when I was young... I secretly hated it.

I don't ever remember being as tiny as I was in the pictures. Time really flies, I was 2, I was 5, and now I'm 21. Just the other day I was telling Mumsy that I might have some inferiority complex issues, and she brushed me off lor wth. I can't tell you how thankful I am for having parents who brought me up to who I am today, but sometimes, I cannot help but wish they'd done it in a slightly different manner.

I am the sailor's daughter... in a sailor suit.

I think this upbringing style, it's an Asian thing, or maybe, largely Singaporean... or maybe, it's just my parents. My parents always make it seem like I'm never good enough in whatever I do. If I got 95 marks for an exam, they'd be like "how come never get 100 marks?", and if I told them I did well on the overall, they'd be like "the exams must be really easy", or something along "everyone else also did well right...". "Must have gotten last again...", this was something pretty common to me too. Not to mention they are usually not very supportive of the activities I like to engage in... 

was at the airport, Dad just got back to Singapore, I think

Okay, I shall stop making Mumsy and Dad seem like very mean parents. They have provided me with far more than what I really need, and have been pretty liberal (pretty's an understatement) with me in terms of the big F word, Freedom. I know the reason for all that they've done is just so that we can get the best out of life, albeit the wrong way though. But no matter bout that, cause I've more or less learnt to deal with these.

bet they weren't expecting me to fall in love with the sea when they took this shot.

And it's not exactly the best way either... not taking what they say seriously enough. But it gets me by, and I get to do what I want to do, most of the time anyway. I've kind of had enough of my parents telling me that I'm never good enough, so if I were ever going to look for a boyfriend, of course I'm not going to pick someone who is going to put me down all the time. Or someone who puts himself down all the time for that matter.

Anyway, I'm really looking forward to turning 21 in the later part of the year, even though I doubt it'll make a hell lot of difference. But the significance! I'm finally legal!